Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
