They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
