I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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