if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
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i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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