What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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