Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize