i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
