I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
