this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
