just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
