it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
