You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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