it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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