his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize