There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
