We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize