grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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