When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
