Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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