i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
one might say we're banned from that church
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
