Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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