I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ladies don't puke and tell
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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