I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
