I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
