It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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