Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can text with my tongue
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
