Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
