i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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