dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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