hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
