I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize