made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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