he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
