508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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