God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
