CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize