you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
