So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
