he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
