as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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