Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
