Girls should come with a carfax report
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize