Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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