well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
