wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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