Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize