i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
