sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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