Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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