if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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