YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You're like the curious george of whores
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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