I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
