operation have a gay friend backfired
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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