According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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