So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
