meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I need to calm my uterus...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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