I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
