He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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