tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
