you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize