we're blogging at a bar
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
