..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
