Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
