these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's blow job season.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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