i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
