i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
